What Tenacity Wants

Tenacity wants you to kill.  It wants you to murder the part of you that shrugs and pretends not to care.

In my case it was Crohn’s disease. I’ve had my disease since I was 12.  I’ve also had a newly diagnosed seizure disorder that has made chaos of my life.  Very recently I’ve also been diagnosed with a halial hernia and due to not affording the surgery to fix it, I threw up and aspirated (Crohn’s disease may have been the vomiting problem too–I’ll be sick forever).

But that’s not the courage I’ve needed. That throwing up caused me to have pneumonia 3 or 4 times in as many months, and tenacity helped saved me this time. Being tenacious has kept me from jumping off a bridge after throwing up blackish-red blood vomit.  It’s why I’m writing this.

And this very last go at it I was prompted to shrug it off and just let it go–do or (maybe) die.  But I killed that part of me, changed my attitude from one of perpetual sickness to one of killing the lassitude that existed inside me. I will always be sick.  Crohn’s disease and seizures and hernias, oh my. But being tenacious got me through it this time.

I was out of the hospital in less than a week.


viaDaily Prompt: Tenacious


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